Home Sweet Home.

So...we are currently homeless. Richard was apartment hunting while I was in the US but to no avail...he works through the hours of normal apartment showings and also we have really ridiculous expectations for an apartment.

My list includes:

Garden (for when I bring my dog Charlie!)

An "American" sized kitchen.

Two bedrooms.

Within walking distance to a supermarket, a bus stop, etc since I can't drive.

Air conditioning! 

Between 800-850 euros a month.

His list includes:

Directly next to the ocean. (I think this is the unspoken official number one priority.)

Between 800-950 euros a month. (I want to save the extra 100/month for decorating the place!)

A modern bathroom with a shower.

A parking space.

Air conditioning. 

Within reasonable commuting distance whether he works in the north or in the south. 

As you might imagine, finding a new, two bedroom, cheap apartment in the middle of a city with a terrace garden but also next to the ocean is a pretty difficult task. 

We've been staying with our friend Cristian in the meantime, which has been awesome because he has a beautiful dream house with a pool surrounded by a garden of palm trees. 

Fresh papaya from Richard's dad.

But at night, the Wild Things come. 

One night, Richard and I were sitting down to dinner, and the BIGGEST babouk (giant spider) I've ever seen comes trotting in through the front door, without even asking.

After freaking out for a while, I begged Richard not to kill it just because it's ugly. So we left it alone, thinking "it's more afraid of us than we are of it." That was absolutely false. That thing literally followed me around the house. For an hour, anywhere I looked, there it was. Across from us as we were eating, then suddenly on the wall behind me in the bathroom, and finally it charged at me as I stood screaming on the couch. As it turned out, Richard noticed evil babouk spawn darting everywhere on the white walls under the proud mommy, and that's when we decided it was time. After a comically long battle between Richard and Super Babouk Who Refused to Die, the house was free of little beasts for the night. The next day, we were visited by some mutant cockroaches, and the day after that I saved a lizard from drowning in the pool. Ah, paradise. 

I'll admit...at the end of two months of VERY long distance between Richard and I, where I was having a wonderful time in my own country with my family, it was really, really hard to get on that plane again. I was asked more than once, by more than one person "are you sure this is what you want to do?" And each time it made me think. I don't think I believe in "knowing" that someone is the one for you. I don't think anyone "knows" anything, really, when it comes to making life decisions. I think there is always going to be doubt or fear when you make a big commitment, but what happens is that you decide it's what you want to do, and then you take responsibility for doing everything in your power to make it work.

I did learn something new, though. I find that when you make choices that are right for you...you get petit affirmations all the time that say you're on the right path. The doubt and fear might pop back up now and then, but they are always followed by affirmations. For example...I'll be honest. I was filled with this sickening panic for a week before I left my parent's house to come back to Reunion. Literally I felt like I had giant balloons for lungs that stayed a little too inflated all the time, leaving no room to breathe. This feeling stayed with me until I stepped off the plane and in to Richard's arms. I felt the balloons deflate back to normal and there was this strange comfort that seeped down my body. On the way down, it sighed "oooh yeah...I'm home." That's never happened before. Anytime the doubts or fears crept up in other relationships, they always, always exploded into a mess that was never really resolved, just scarred over and ignored. 

So, you know? Life is good. I'm really happy. Homeless? Jobless? Eh whatever. 

It will all come in time. I have no regrets.

Except maybe for authorizing the murder of that innocent babouk, but ew. That was just gross.