Lesson #124: Don't drink tap water after a hurricane.

By the time someone warned me not to drink the water after a hurricane, it was too late. I had already drank lots of tap water and I felt fine. Besides, I eat a crapload of fruit here, and my immune system is already comparable to superman. 

Later that night, I became violently ill. 

Two days later, I am forcing myself to go to work, since the heads of school are coming to my class to see my teaching methods, and to determine if they will write a recommendation for me to return to a second year of teaching in La Reunion. 

Being sick gives you lots of time to sleep, have crazy medicine-induced dreams (like when i jumped off a tower of a sinking pirate ship at night under some pretty amazing shooting starts, and as we were swimming through the ocean back to shore, a really badass, slick, batman-like jet swooped down into the water to rescue us, but we were already to the shore.) And being sick gives you lots of time to think about the future. I did turn in my request to come back to La Reunion for a second year, and that is currently my first choice. However, I heard funding was cut from the program and next year will see 20 less assistants on the island. So...if the program Visa should fall through, here are some other ideas running through my head in regards to the future...

1.)  Apply for a general work visa from the Chamber of Commerce and then try to find a job in France (Easiest possibility would be Paris, I think?). Or maybe I could even use it to come back to Reunion...I've had a couple of friends here with connections asking for me to stay permanently as an English teacher...

2.) Go back to the states, but move to California. I fell in love with San Francisco when I visited last summer. I felt totally at home there. They also have a French Embassy there and a big French community. Hopefully, I could teach high school French. Maybe I could even try closer to L.A., or San Diego, since I have some friends there...

3.) The easiest thing would be to stay in Texas. I have friends there, I know the area, I have good acting/modeling connections, and...all my crap is there. I guess I could see myself living maybe in downtown Dallas and being happy. I'd find a nice place within walking distance to like a farmer's market and the fromagerie and a park and maybe I could make it work there :-)

But there are major pros to staying in France.

First, it is way more easy to find a job teaching in your native language than your second language. I could find a job teaching English super fast here, and I have a feeling I'll have a pretty hard time becoming a French teacher in the states, for more than one reason. It will at least take a year to be certified to teach...and how will I support myself during that time?

The friends I've made in Reunion are some of the best friends I've made in my life. Touching on the subject of relationships from last week...I really feel like the French have a much better grasp on relationships. They are more giving, more emotional, and less selfish. They really love each other. Their relationships with the people around them are the center of their lives, not work, money, school or obligations. Dinner isn't just a meal. It's an 8 hour bonding experience where you share your life with people you love. I love that. And I know it will never be like that back in the states. Especially when everyone is always on a diet, counting calories, or just not eating dinner (like my last 3 boyfriends...and, okay, okay, my pre-Reunion self too.)

In general, I just love the french way of life. Things seem easier here. The little things are important, and people really seem to cherish each other.

But if I stay on this island...I'll never be able to act again. Or at least not for like ten years, when I have not only mastered French, but Creole as well, and even then, the theaters here are not especially impressive. Plus, it's so expensive to leave the island, and so far away...it will be hard to travel, especially all the way back to the states...and the island is really small...BUT on the other hand, I'd be living in tropical paradise forever...scuba diving every weekend, beaches, horseback riding, sun......!!!!!!!!!

Decisions, decisions. I feel really lucky, at least, that with any direction I choose, I will be going down a path I really love, following a dream I've had for all of my life, living passionately and being happy. How many people can say that? I'm so so lucky.

The people you fight for.

"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which one to burn."  David Russell.

I have a great unanswered question in my life, and that is the idea of relationships. And I don't mean just couples, but relationships with all the people in your life; friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances.

I have come to understand life to be a journey you take alone (or with God, for me). During this journey, your path will cross paths with others who are on their own journeys. Sometimes your paths align for months, for years, for decades. But eventually, things change and you continue on your separate ways. Maybe you telephone and catch up every 6 months or so. But you no longer share your day to day life with these people.

Sometimes it hurts when you realize that you and someone you love are no longer walking along the same path. And things that are important to you are no longer important to them. And maybe you thought what you had was stronger, and that it would last longer, that it would last to the end of time.

Here are some examples:

I had a roommate whom I loved, and when we were in the same points in our lives we had a wonderful time together. Then I moved to France to follow my dreams, and her life continued. I sent emails, pictures, texts...I called when bad things happened to her and tried my best to be a good friend from far away. But of course, her life went on without me. She found a new roommate, and a new boyfriend, and she became very busy. Too busy, in fact, to talk much anymore.

I also have an older brother. He has his own family and his own life and for a while, I tried to be a part of it. But we were very different, and so we kept drifting apart until one day everything exploded. And that was the last time we spoke to each other.

(For example three, just insert any romance I've had, because they obviously did not last.)

When the relationship fizzles to this point, my questions begin.

What are you supposed to do? If this was a movie, I would fight for the relationship. I would send love letters every day for a year, even with no response, like that guy from the Notebook. I would take the next plane home, fly to their doorsteps in the rain, and have a long speech prepared which would show them how important they are to me, and win them back.

But since this isn't a movie, and things aren't so simple, I don't know what to do, really. Do I fight, or do I accept that people walk their own path, lives change, and just be happy for the time we shared together? Because in the end, people are just human. And how can I force someone to make time for me if it isn't something they really want to do? I mean, I'm the same way...If there is someone that I really want to keep in my life, I will make time for them (even if it can only be just a little bit!) and I will try my best to maintain the relationship.

Sometimes I wonder about myself and my gypsy tendencies. Do I move around so often because I have not made any strong relationships to root me in one place? Or do I have no strong relationships because I move around so often? Am I running free? Or running away?

Then this weird thing happened the other day. My best friend from high school and I finally talked for the first time since I've moved here. I was angry! because I had sent emails that had gone unanswered and it's been four months. And sometimes, when it was hard here, I really needed her.
After a few hours of bickering about what friendship means to each of us, I gave up and told her "Look, I understand. That's life. We are in different places, and it's sad, but it happens." But to my surprise, she responded: "No. You are not getting out of this friendship that easy. I'm going to keep fighting for you because I know we are going to be in each other's lives until we die."

That was the first time in my life anyone has ever said that to me. And it was the first time in my life that I realized how easily I give up on people...how easily I can shrug and say, "well, that's life." And then move on.

I still maintain that real, important relationships need constant work and attention, and that it simply is not enough to talk every couple months to "catch up." I think important people should share each other's daily lives, and that it is an effort made by both sides because they want to, not out of moral obligation, religious reasons, or some other kind of guilt. But at the same time, maybe I should realize that important people sometimes drift...but the fact is, they never drift too far. Maybe some people always hold a special place in their heart for you, one that can never be replaced by time or distance or other people. And that whatever is keeping you apart for now is just a tiny season of change...something you need to fight through to get to the other side...something that will make the reunion that much sweeter.

I am lucky to have people who will fight for me. Who remind me that I do have roots...and that I can always come home when my adventures get too lonely or scary. And although sometimes I wish they were around more, it gives me great hope to know that there are some people who will love you unconditionally, and never let you go.

Sensations Fortes

My friends are awesome because they anytime I say "one day, I would really like to do such-and-such," they say "Ok...let's all go Saturday!" And then they plan everything and show up at my house Friday after school, where I am packed and eagerly awaiting the next adventure. I seriously vow to be such an excellent tour guide when I am back in the states and have visitors...

This weekend, we planned to go up in the mountains for a little bit of rest in nature. We rented rooms at an auberge for Saturday night (I'm thinking the equivalent idea in English is Bed and Breakfast...but way more rustic, closer to camping life than the B&B $250/night antiqued rooms...). We would rest, be outdoors, and then go horseback riding for a few hours around a beautiful lake.

That's when Richard decided we would take a small detour on the way to the mountains to rock climb up a waterfall.

I'm not sure why I agreed to this. I'm also not sure why I wasn't scared until we got on the ladder. For the next two hours after that, I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe. I have never been more terrified in my entire life. There is a small line between being scared but liking it, and being too scared. I crossed that line about ten minutes into it, when I got stuck trying to figure out which rock to put my left foot on, because none of them really seemed like viable candidates.

So up and up we went...and they told us in the beginning that once you start, there is no turning back. Knowing that I could only move forward, I climbed, cursing the stupid waterfall every time I successfully made it to a new rock without falling. I decided to not look down, to pretend I was Angelina Jolie in some badass movie, and to just get it over with as fast as possible!! I'm not going to lie...a few times it crossed my mind to just stop and cry. But I knew that would do no good, because after that I would be tired and I would still have to finish the damn thing.

Here's the best part. When you get to the top of the waterfall, you tightrope across it.

I'd like to tell you it was a beautiful view and totally worth it. But you are seriously walking across one tiny rope (although you're attached to two others above you) and all three ropes are moving and twisting and bouncing, and it would be so easy for you to fall and just dangle there, helplessly, over the waterfall until your rope snaps or something else happens and all I could do was think about breathing and watching the nice side of the waterfall, the close side before everything just falls.

After that you climb down at little bit and then zipline back to safety. I actually like zip lining so that wasn't so bad.

Climbing back down. We are very tiny.

During the climb I really wanted to kill Richard for his dumb idea but when we were finished, I was pretty proud of myself so I didn't kill him. 

We got to the auberge and it smelled like rain and Earth which are my two favorite smells. During summer, it seems that the weather in the mountains is the same each day...beautiful and sunny in the morning, then the clouds roll in around 12:30, which turns into rain later on for the rest of the night. 

 I think there are some spiders above her door...

My humble room 

at night the clouds are so thick they cover entire mountains! 

the next day, same place 

We had a large three course Creole dinner, with lots of homemade rum punch and wine. After that we headed to the Mariée in the middle of town for an inpromptu musical sing along. We were very fair about our song choices: first French, then Creole, then English. The English songs they knew were mostly 80's love ballads, which was perfectly fine with me :-) 

The next day, horseback riding became more like a rodeo. The guide was a complete idiot and had no control over the horses. Sylvie had only been riding a few times before, so she didn't know what to do when her horse started crazily galloping away. This happened in the first ten minutes. After that, she was too scared to have fun anymore, and took my stance from yesterday...not breathing and just praying to stay alive until it's over...

It was a three hour ride through the mountains and around a magnificent lake...

Geranium and I got along pretty well

Halfway through, stopping to let the horses eat and drink a little

Sylvie is not having very much fun. 

Although, it was kind of stressful...the horses were tripping down the hills, Sylvie's horse had already run away with her on it twice and  bit Richard pretty hard on the leg...another horse was determined to kick you in the face if you entered his personal space, and while he was having one of his bucking moments, someone else's horse bit mine, which sent my horse flying off for a few minutes and directly into an oncoming car...

But we survived!!! And we set off to recover by having a picnic (and a little nap) in the forest. 

So yeah, just another weekend here...

We got no troubles, life is the bubbles! Under the sea!

I met our Dive Master a week earlier at a party; he is a friend of my friend Richard. He's Belgium (and has a very noticeable accent, despite the fact that he loooooves to make fun of mine!) and he was so confident about not having shark problems that I felt safe with him. 

We arrived, and since I was the only once certified, he threw me the equipment to put together while he explained the gear to the others. Embarrassingly enough, I forgot a lot...and that's something you kinda don't want to mess up. Anyway, after I turned bright red and looked like a sad puppy for a while, he came to help me.

Then we walked for about five minutes down to the water with all our gear. I have never done a dive off the land before, it's always been out of a boat, so it was cool to do something new. The water was perfectly clear and bright blue. There had recently been a lot of rain because of some hurricanes close to the island, but everything seemed just right that morning for us. 

We discuss our dive route

Dive master first

Then me!! I was really nervous until I got in the water...then everything kicked in :-)

As soon as we decended into the water, I relaxed and remembered how much I love diving. There were fish everywhere; giant, tiny, colorful, striped, spotted, amazing. After we got everyone down safely, we started to explore the reef.

me, Frank, and Manu

me and my fish friends

chasing a turtle

Frank chasing the turtle! 

So I have to confess...we were hugging the coral reef pretty tight, and if you just went out a tiny bit further, there was this big, open space. I may or may not have wondered away from the group and into that space for a little while to flip my fins like the little mermaid while humming "Part of your world" in my mask...

By this time, people were running low on air, so everyone went up together. Then the Dive Master took me and Richard  back down and under a big cave into a grotto!! It was so beautiful...giant schools of fish, clear water, and that's when we met the octopus...

And then, sadly, it was time to go......

Diving was followed by a very large pool side BBQ. It was a pretty amazing day...

Honey baked camembert cheese, and carmel ice cream with fresh mangos and drizzled honey....