Things to Buy Tomorrow: Hand Soap, Floss, Malaria Pills.

Yay South Africa!

On Sunday, I will board a plane to South Africa for a two week safari!! I know virtually nothing about South Africa, so today I started to do some research. This research was done online, so please excuse me if it is completely inaccurate and stupid:

I've learned that malaria pills are recommended, (especially for me...asshole moustiques...) and that they apparently come with lovely side effects that make you feel like you have malaria. So "take them at night so you don't ruin your safari."

I've also learned that it is recommended to wear khaki and green colored clothing...not bright colors, (which is mostly all I own.) And camouflage clothing is illegal in some places in Africa because it is worn by local soldiers (still can't find if this means South Africa...? either way, not risking it...) Of course I learned all of this after I started to set aside my clothes....

Things we will be doing:
Flying into Johannesburg
Staying at Hamilton Parks for elephant rides and hot air balloons
Kruger Park for a week, (where you see all the animals!)
Sun City (the casino where I plan to win a million dollars!*)
Lion's Park, (where you get to play with baby lions!)

*I would like to officially state that I will totally take a million in dollars or rand, the South African currency, even though one dollar equals 7.5 rand.

Rand

Then I started looking at example packing lists. In general, they are helpful, though I am disturbed by the fact that one "don't bring" list included illegal drugs. Really? Ok. Gotta note that. Do not bring illegal drugs. Check.

	Clothing:		Other Items:
	2 short sleeved khaki shirts		Flashlight
	2 long sleeved khaki shirts		Pocket knife
	2 turtlenecks or polo necks		2 pairs of sunglasses
	2 pairs khaki shorts		A small back pack
	2 pairs long khaki trousers		Plenty of Sunscreen
	A couple of T-shirts (no bright colours)		Lip balm / chapstick
	A cap or hat		Binoculars (8x40)
	A warm woolen cap (beanie)		Diary
	A pair of warm gloves		Hair dryer & Gas curling tongs for ladies (optional)
	1 or 2 sets of thermal underwear (just in case)		International plug set (Africa uses 220-240Volt)
	Warm socks		Malaria tablets (as prescribed by your MD if required)
	1 pair comfortable house shoes		Insect repellent
	1 pair comfortable tennis shoes / running shoes		Tick repellent (preferably containing DEET)
	1 pair of ankle high boots		Belt and ammunition pouch
	Warm nightwear		Ammunition as discussed
	1 or 2 warm jackets (down)		Reading material
	1 warm sweater		Clock (optional)
	1 raincoat / waterproof jacket		Any personal medication
	Sweatsuit or jeans for evenings		Camera equipment (We recommend a 400mm standard and wide angle lens, flash, spare batteries, camera bag)
	Swimsuit (optional)
	1 smart/casual outfit (if required)

Four more days!!!!! 

Twenty-Eight.

I don't really feel old. 

Nor do I have a complex about being old. 

I realize that 28 is older than lots of people I know...

    but it's also a lot younger than some other people I know. :-)

Today, I googled "28 years old," curious to see what that means to random people on the Internet. Surprisingly, lots of people freak out about it. In fact, one of the first sites I saw on the google search was dedicated to celebrities who died at 28, (especially Heath Ledger, who I admittedly thought was a lot older...) Next were the numerous, very thought-out essays about the psychology of women who are "still" single at 28. I'm afraid I can't relate to these people. Here are the completely solid, mostly scientific reasons this is going to be the best year of my entire life:

1.) It started off wonderfully, the weekend was filled with adventures like paragliding, successful cooking endevors, meals with french friends who care about me, presents including fancy chocolate and jewelry, and lots and lots of skype dates with the most beloved people in my life.

after 4 times of trying to parapente, the elements finally co-operated.

getting serious. well, seriously nervous

so you have to run really fast down a cliff....

and then it just lifts you into the air! this is me! in the batman parapente. 

I pretended I was in Harry Potter, flying on a broomstick. The dude was not too impressed.

The view

I made this!! 

Picnic with my French family :-)

2.) Also, I really enjoy even numbers. And I especially like the number 8. If that isn't persuasive enough, I will tell you that I also like the way the year 2012 is shaped. I find it very asthetically pleasing.

3.) Once upon a time, a psychic told me that I would not know my future husband until I am 28. She also told me when I am in my early 30's I will be headed to the West coast...

4.) I am leaving for my African safari in 6 days!!!!!!!

5.) According to my horoscope: "It is not every day that a major planet makes a once-in-165-year entry into a sign, but that is precisely what is about to happen. Neptune will enter your sign on Feb 3 and remain in Pisces for the coming fourteen years. Neptune rules Pisces and will exert its best qualities while in its own sign. Many people never get to experience Neptune in their sign, but because Neptune is your ruling planet, this will make the coming years all the more delicious. This shift of Neptune to Pisces will instantly put you in the spotlight. Neptune's greatest gift to you will be to greatly expand your imagination and your creativity, and as such, you are the perfect sign to accept those gifts. You will be encouraged to express yourself in completely new ways, to be innovative and experimental. If you work in the creative sphere, this shift of Neptune will, of course, seem like a miracle. Suddenly the world is listening to you. Your image may be known on TV, or in important print or Internet media, and you will likely become known by those in your industry or the world at large. This is your moment! Take all fortunate breaks that come up at this time seriously. Don't ask others their opinion about whether you should do this or that...you know yourself well enough. It is your decision."

6.) I just have a really, really good feeling about this year :-)

The best part about being where I am now is that I am happy with my life, I know who I am, and I am not afraid to go for what I want. I didn't have that self-confidence, wisdom, or maturity at 21, 23...26 even. In fact, it's quite possible that I made every dumb, horrible mistake a person could make in their early (and mid) 20's. And while I can't exactly claim that I wouldn't go back and change some things...I have absolutely no complaints about where I am now. Literally and figuratively, of course :-)

My lesson for the week :-)

I know you're not supposed to have favorites, but I totally do....

So...welcome, twenty-eight...

Lesson #124: Don't drink tap water after a hurricane.

By the time someone warned me not to drink the water after a hurricane, it was too late. I had already drank lots of tap water and I felt fine. Besides, I eat a crapload of fruit here, and my immune system is already comparable to superman. 

Later that night, I became violently ill. 

Two days later, I am forcing myself to go to work, since the heads of school are coming to my class to see my teaching methods, and to determine if they will write a recommendation for me to return to a second year of teaching in La Reunion. 

Being sick gives you lots of time to sleep, have crazy medicine-induced dreams (like when i jumped off a tower of a sinking pirate ship at night under some pretty amazing shooting starts, and as we were swimming through the ocean back to shore, a really badass, slick, batman-like jet swooped down into the water to rescue us, but we were already to the shore.) And being sick gives you lots of time to think about the future. I did turn in my request to come back to La Reunion for a second year, and that is currently my first choice. However, I heard funding was cut from the program and next year will see 20 less assistants on the island. So...if the program Visa should fall through, here are some other ideas running through my head in regards to the future...

1.)  Apply for a general work visa from the Chamber of Commerce and then try to find a job in France (Easiest possibility would be Paris, I think?). Or maybe I could even use it to come back to Reunion...I've had a couple of friends here with connections asking for me to stay permanently as an English teacher...

2.) Go back to the states, but move to California. I fell in love with San Francisco when I visited last summer. I felt totally at home there. They also have a French Embassy there and a big French community. Hopefully, I could teach high school French. Maybe I could even try closer to L.A., or San Diego, since I have some friends there...

3.) The easiest thing would be to stay in Texas. I have friends there, I know the area, I have good acting/modeling connections, and...all my crap is there. I guess I could see myself living maybe in downtown Dallas and being happy. I'd find a nice place within walking distance to like a farmer's market and the fromagerie and a park and maybe I could make it work there :-)

But there are major pros to staying in France.

First, it is way more easy to find a job teaching in your native language than your second language. I could find a job teaching English super fast here, and I have a feeling I'll have a pretty hard time becoming a French teacher in the states, for more than one reason. It will at least take a year to be certified to teach...and how will I support myself during that time?

The friends I've made in Reunion are some of the best friends I've made in my life. Touching on the subject of relationships from last week...I really feel like the French have a much better grasp on relationships. They are more giving, more emotional, and less selfish. They really love each other. Their relationships with the people around them are the center of their lives, not work, money, school or obligations. Dinner isn't just a meal. It's an 8 hour bonding experience where you share your life with people you love. I love that. And I know it will never be like that back in the states. Especially when everyone is always on a diet, counting calories, or just not eating dinner (like my last 3 boyfriends...and, okay, okay, my pre-Reunion self too.)

In general, I just love the french way of life. Things seem easier here. The little things are important, and people really seem to cherish each other.

But if I stay on this island...I'll never be able to act again. Or at least not for like ten years, when I have not only mastered French, but Creole as well, and even then, the theaters here are not especially impressive. Plus, it's so expensive to leave the island, and so far away...it will be hard to travel, especially all the way back to the states...and the island is really small...BUT on the other hand, I'd be living in tropical paradise forever...scuba diving every weekend, beaches, horseback riding, sun......!!!!!!!!!

Decisions, decisions. I feel really lucky, at least, that with any direction I choose, I will be going down a path I really love, following a dream I've had for all of my life, living passionately and being happy. How many people can say that? I'm so so lucky.

The people you fight for.

"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which one to burn."  David Russell.

I have a great unanswered question in my life, and that is the idea of relationships. And I don't mean just couples, but relationships with all the people in your life; friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances.

I have come to understand life to be a journey you take alone (or with God, for me). During this journey, your path will cross paths with others who are on their own journeys. Sometimes your paths align for months, for years, for decades. But eventually, things change and you continue on your separate ways. Maybe you telephone and catch up every 6 months or so. But you no longer share your day to day life with these people.

Sometimes it hurts when you realize that you and someone you love are no longer walking along the same path. And things that are important to you are no longer important to them. And maybe you thought what you had was stronger, and that it would last longer, that it would last to the end of time.

Here are some examples:

I had a roommate whom I loved, and when we were in the same points in our lives we had a wonderful time together. Then I moved to France to follow my dreams, and her life continued. I sent emails, pictures, texts...I called when bad things happened to her and tried my best to be a good friend from far away. But of course, her life went on without me. She found a new roommate, and a new boyfriend, and she became very busy. Too busy, in fact, to talk much anymore.

I also have an older brother. He has his own family and his own life and for a while, I tried to be a part of it. But we were very different, and so we kept drifting apart until one day everything exploded. And that was the last time we spoke to each other.

(For example three, just insert any romance I've had, because they obviously did not last.)

When the relationship fizzles to this point, my questions begin.

What are you supposed to do? If this was a movie, I would fight for the relationship. I would send love letters every day for a year, even with no response, like that guy from the Notebook. I would take the next plane home, fly to their doorsteps in the rain, and have a long speech prepared which would show them how important they are to me, and win them back.

But since this isn't a movie, and things aren't so simple, I don't know what to do, really. Do I fight, or do I accept that people walk their own path, lives change, and just be happy for the time we shared together? Because in the end, people are just human. And how can I force someone to make time for me if it isn't something they really want to do? I mean, I'm the same way...If there is someone that I really want to keep in my life, I will make time for them (even if it can only be just a little bit!) and I will try my best to maintain the relationship.

Sometimes I wonder about myself and my gypsy tendencies. Do I move around so often because I have not made any strong relationships to root me in one place? Or do I have no strong relationships because I move around so often? Am I running free? Or running away?

Then this weird thing happened the other day. My best friend from high school and I finally talked for the first time since I've moved here. I was angry! because I had sent emails that had gone unanswered and it's been four months. And sometimes, when it was hard here, I really needed her.
After a few hours of bickering about what friendship means to each of us, I gave up and told her "Look, I understand. That's life. We are in different places, and it's sad, but it happens." But to my surprise, she responded: "No. You are not getting out of this friendship that easy. I'm going to keep fighting for you because I know we are going to be in each other's lives until we die."

That was the first time in my life anyone has ever said that to me. And it was the first time in my life that I realized how easily I give up on people...how easily I can shrug and say, "well, that's life." And then move on.

I still maintain that real, important relationships need constant work and attention, and that it simply is not enough to talk every couple months to "catch up." I think important people should share each other's daily lives, and that it is an effort made by both sides because they want to, not out of moral obligation, religious reasons, or some other kind of guilt. But at the same time, maybe I should realize that important people sometimes drift...but the fact is, they never drift too far. Maybe some people always hold a special place in their heart for you, one that can never be replaced by time or distance or other people. And that whatever is keeping you apart for now is just a tiny season of change...something you need to fight through to get to the other side...something that will make the reunion that much sweeter.

I am lucky to have people who will fight for me. Who remind me that I do have roots...and that I can always come home when my adventures get too lonely or scary. And although sometimes I wish they were around more, it gives me great hope to know that there are some people who will love you unconditionally, and never let you go.

Sensations Fortes

My friends are awesome because they anytime I say "one day, I would really like to do such-and-such," they say "Ok...let's all go Saturday!" And then they plan everything and show up at my house Friday after school, where I am packed and eagerly awaiting the next adventure. I seriously vow to be such an excellent tour guide when I am back in the states and have visitors...

This weekend, we planned to go up in the mountains for a little bit of rest in nature. We rented rooms at an auberge for Saturday night (I'm thinking the equivalent idea in English is Bed and Breakfast...but way more rustic, closer to camping life than the B&B $250/night antiqued rooms...). We would rest, be outdoors, and then go horseback riding for a few hours around a beautiful lake.

That's when Richard decided we would take a small detour on the way to the mountains to rock climb up a waterfall.

I'm not sure why I agreed to this. I'm also not sure why I wasn't scared until we got on the ladder. For the next two hours after that, I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe. I have never been more terrified in my entire life. There is a small line between being scared but liking it, and being too scared. I crossed that line about ten minutes into it, when I got stuck trying to figure out which rock to put my left foot on, because none of them really seemed like viable candidates.

So up and up we went...and they told us in the beginning that once you start, there is no turning back. Knowing that I could only move forward, I climbed, cursing the stupid waterfall every time I successfully made it to a new rock without falling. I decided to not look down, to pretend I was Angelina Jolie in some badass movie, and to just get it over with as fast as possible!! I'm not going to lie...a few times it crossed my mind to just stop and cry. But I knew that would do no good, because after that I would be tired and I would still have to finish the damn thing.

Here's the best part. When you get to the top of the waterfall, you tightrope across it.

I'd like to tell you it was a beautiful view and totally worth it. But you are seriously walking across one tiny rope (although you're attached to two others above you) and all three ropes are moving and twisting and bouncing, and it would be so easy for you to fall and just dangle there, helplessly, over the waterfall until your rope snaps or something else happens and all I could do was think about breathing and watching the nice side of the waterfall, the close side before everything just falls.

After that you climb down at little bit and then zipline back to safety. I actually like zip lining so that wasn't so bad.

Climbing back down. We are very tiny.

During the climb I really wanted to kill Richard for his dumb idea but when we were finished, I was pretty proud of myself so I didn't kill him. 

We got to the auberge and it smelled like rain and Earth which are my two favorite smells. During summer, it seems that the weather in the mountains is the same each day...beautiful and sunny in the morning, then the clouds roll in around 12:30, which turns into rain later on for the rest of the night. 

 I think there are some spiders above her door...

My humble room 

at night the clouds are so thick they cover entire mountains! 

the next day, same place 

We had a large three course Creole dinner, with lots of homemade rum punch and wine. After that we headed to the Mariée in the middle of town for an inpromptu musical sing along. We were very fair about our song choices: first French, then Creole, then English. The English songs they knew were mostly 80's love ballads, which was perfectly fine with me :-) 

The next day, horseback riding became more like a rodeo. The guide was a complete idiot and had no control over the horses. Sylvie had only been riding a few times before, so she didn't know what to do when her horse started crazily galloping away. This happened in the first ten minutes. After that, she was too scared to have fun anymore, and took my stance from yesterday...not breathing and just praying to stay alive until it's over...

It was a three hour ride through the mountains and around a magnificent lake...

Geranium and I got along pretty well

Halfway through, stopping to let the horses eat and drink a little

Sylvie is not having very much fun. 

Although, it was kind of stressful...the horses were tripping down the hills, Sylvie's horse had already run away with her on it twice and  bit Richard pretty hard on the leg...another horse was determined to kick you in the face if you entered his personal space, and while he was having one of his bucking moments, someone else's horse bit mine, which sent my horse flying off for a few minutes and directly into an oncoming car...

But we survived!!! And we set off to recover by having a picnic (and a little nap) in the forest. 

So yeah, just another weekend here...